She loves me most when I am not around.. I think she wants someone kind, but is disappointed when I am all that’s here. She likes the idea of me.
Meet the ground you stand on.
Stop trying to live some other life you saw in passing,
Rise to meet the needs of your reality,
Not that passing glimmer that seems so easy.
Wasting your time trying to live false happiness, you could have spent on embracing your now.
Accept and stride forward.
Because I can’t talk to anyone else.
Why does it feel like you want to go?
Now I remember why I don’t let anyone in.
Because I just hurt people without meaning to.
Or I’m just that terrible of a person.
Either way in a crowded room it’s a party for 2: just my demons and me..
I know it’s selfish, but I miss you.
And that crunch sounds really loud..
Could you come by and pick up the pieces?
Could you stop my life from crumbling under the pressure of not losing you, but living without you?
Is there anything that could fix the untold suffering I will endure for losing you alone?
I know you’ve forgiven me for everything, especially the small things…
What if I haven’t??? Especially the small things?
What happens when I don’t move on and I sit waiting, knowing you’re out there and I am missing out on every moment that means everything to me?
What if I am not there when you need me? What if the world isn’t nice??
I’ll destroy everything for you..
I’ll destroy myself without you.
I can’t marry you if you are married to your own suffering.
I’m just scared..
I’m trying to make this love exactly how we always wanted and dreamed it could be. I’m desperate to be what we really want true love to be. I need to do this right. Because I and the rest of the world have fucked up just about everything there is, it’s about time something that matters was done right.
I will love you,
Respect you,
Appreciate you,
Hold you,
Forgive you,
Be honest to you,
Be faithful to you,
…
Neither of us are perfect, but love never is.
Sweet dreams misery, it won’t be long before I’m awake again.
It’s like pretending the sun isn’t there, every time a day begins, reasons to end it rise like the sun, you can count on it.
